The heart of parenting is about connection. It does’t matter what methods you use (co-sleeping, sleep training, body feeding, formula feeding, attachment parenting, routine oriented parenting, etc.) as ANY of these can be done with connection at the center. BUT what happens when you lose the capacity for connection? You may need to shift how you ever thought you would do things as those are the real-time, real-life choices that make a difference in your well-being, not the idea of how you thought you would do it.
That brings us to my favorite place which is getting rid of the assumptions that there’s a right and wrong way to do things and sinking into what it is that you and your family need because of who you and your family are.
A family that plans to sleeptrain but has a baby that doesn’t take to that is going to consider other options. Sometimes the fix for that families is learning to embrace bed-sharing which they neeeeeeever wanted to do. A family that hopes to follow the principals of attachment parenting but has a baby that doesn’t take to that is going to consider other options. Sometimes the fix for that family is to consider working with independent sleep strategies which they neeeeeeeeever thought they wanted to do. This is the most important moment. The moment where you do something you never though you’d do because you have a new understanding of where that decision comes from. GROWTH!! Toward yourself, toward someone else, toward knowing your child a little more. I think this is good stuff.
I have to walk my talk ALOT in my family and I’m often uncomfortable The good news is the more I sit with these ideas, the more true they are and the more I am able to support others in getting comfortable with with what actually is which is not only parenting work but human work.
A reminder that anywhere that you happen to be right now can be a moment to be grateful for, a moment to learn about, or a moment to pivot away from. Very rarely are we completely stuck (though sometimes it can feel that way).
Until Next Time,
Jen
