I often find myself sitting with two conflicting thoughts: “I NEED more time to restore and recharge” AND “I should DEFINITELY be doing more than I’m doing.
I was the youngest of 3 kids and raised in a family that was CONSTANTLY on the go. Upon reflection, my family agrees that much of my challenging behavior had to do with a family life that was too busy and needs that weren’t being met (naps and food anyone?) I have spent the majority of my adult life with a deep need for less but an early blueprint for more which is often confusing and uncomfortable.
What does this have to do with you?:
Never do I see the discomfort of conflicting thoughts more than I do in early parenting. We just want so badly to have things be a certain way. If they go that way, all is well, but if they don’t, we struggle. As we ride the ups and downs of parenting, can we get better (stronger, more comfortable) with holding two conflicting things?
A sweet, easy spell of parenting probably doesn’t mean we will stay there forever. Can we sink into how good it is to be there-practicing gratitude for how easy, sweet, connected, and calm things feel? Alternatively, a rocky, challenging spell of parenting probably doesn’t mean we will stay there forever. Can we sink into how temporary it is to be there-practicing flexibility for how things might need to shift in order to survive, stay sane, and meet our children’s needs?
It’s mental and physical work and honestly not that comfortable BUT it expands our capacity to deal with things being more than one way. And parenting IS more than one way.
- Lack of sleep is normal AND can be really hard.
- Body-feeding is amazing AND can be suffocating.
- Partnership is connecting AND can be frustrating.
- Working inside the home is a gift AND can be isolating.
- Working outside the home is fulfilling AND can be depleting.
- And on, and on….
Why does this matter?:
It matters because when we can see things in more than one way, we can choose what we want to focus on which will inform our actions. Do I need to rest and restore or do I need to do more? They are both true statements but what is going to bring me closer to what I need right now? My actions will be different depending on my goal.
Aaannd, if you need support figuring out what this means for YOU, I’m here. You can book a lactation or sleep consult, join my membership group or sign up for Middle Road Musings to get a monthly note delivered to your inbox ❤️.
Until Next Time,